An anonymous relative with more conservative viewpoints than myself sent this to me today. The items in itals are what he sent me. The items in bold are my responses.
If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn`t buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.
If a conservative sees people getting killed by guns, he doesn't care and hopes his stocks in GunsRUs improves.
If a liberal sees people getting killed by guns, he wants to develop policy to protect the innocent.
If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn`t eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for
So stupid not worth a response.
If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat
A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.
If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to make up evidence to make the threat seem more iminent and dangerous than it is.
If a liberal sees a foreign threat, he seeks out truth and acts based on fact, not fiction or God's word.
If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.
If a conservative is homosexual, he gets married to a woman only to embarass her and his kids by having affairs with men.
If a liberal is a homosexual, he wishes his sexuality wasn't politicized and that he could have equal rights protected under the law.
If a black man or Hispanic are conservative, they see themselves as
Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government
I don't think all successful black and Hispanic men are conservatives. But maybe I voted for the wrong president.
If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.
So the unemployed conservatives aren't cashing their unemployment checks? Really? Somehow I doubt it.
If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.
If a conservative talk show host lies and has no substance to his arguments he is considered heroic.
If a liberal talk show host lies and has no substance to his arguments, he doesn't have a talk show.
If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
(Unless it's a foreign religion, of course!)
If a conservative is a non-believer, he better not run for political office, because he will be shunned for having common sense.
If a liberal non-believer runs for office, he will be respected for his point of view towards religion.
If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for
it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.
If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes shopping for it, can't find it because he's been denied due to preexisting medical conditions, looks for a job that provides it, isn't hired, and suddenly becomes an advocate of health care reform.
A liberal wants to help even this hypocrite because health care is a basic human right.
If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs and is
If a liberal slips and falls, he grabs his neck, moans like he's in labor
and then sues.
If a conservative sees someone slip and falls, and it is someone of a different color, he'll hesistate to help him up.
If a liberal slips and falls, he'll get up and clean the spill that caused him to become hurt in the first place.
If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a
A liberal will delete it because he's "offended".
NOT THIS LIBERAL.