Friday, October 10, 2008

My nerves: your nerves?

There are some things that have been getting on my nerves lately. I'm going to list 10 of them and then just stop being annoyed by them. I'm purging my nerves in honor of the Day of Atonement. If there is something you would like to purge, please feel free.

1. As everyone at work knows, I get very upset when I receive and email that asks me at the bottom, "Do you really need to print this email?" This is the most patronizing question ever. If I want to print the email, yes I need to. Why is it any of your business? And by the way, the line makes me want to print the email, fax it to you and then mail it to you and make copies for everyone I know.

2. The Cubs. I mean fine, don't win the World Series. But 0-3, or I guess more appropriately 0-6!!!! Seriously, your fans are indeed minimalists, but to support you after this debacle is even a little much.

3. People who don't respond to evites. I mean, can't you just give three seconds of your time and respond?.

4. The presidential debates: I mean really. How much more can they say? They've said it all. Let's just drop it and vote in November.

5. Look, why are we blaming the government for subprime mortgage crisis? I mean really. Do we have no personal responsibility for any of our actions? Unless your mortgage broker lied to you, you really didn't know what it means to have an adjustable mortgage? We are turning into a nation of wussies. If you spend more than you earn you are going to be in debt. The end. If you eat too much fast food you are going to get fat. Not everything is the government's fault.

6. When John McCain says we are winning the war in Iraq. What does winning even mean anymore?

7. People who write thank you notes in their baby's voices. Ok, I'm so used to it doesn't bother me. But it is a little weird. Can your baby write? Read? Talk? Probably not. I don't even know your baby. I know you. So you, write me a thank you note.

8. People who respond to blogs but don't take the time to spell words correctly even though the blog provider has underlined every misspelled word.

9. Spam instant messaging

10. People at the gym who sweat all over a machine, and I mean not just a little sweat but like a pool of water, and don't even attempt to wipe it off.

I feel better already. Thank you.

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