What's really behind the Dolores-Jackie conflict on the RHONJ

I watch five shows on Bravo. One of them is The Real Housewives of New Jersey. I mostly watch as a form of escapism, and as a way to turn off my brain and focus on something totally superficial. However, sometimes I find the character arcs provide fascinating studies in human behavior, sociology, and psychology.

The last two episodes of the RHONJ delivered on all fronts, and I'm wondering if the editors crafted the storyline purposefully.

If somehow you don't know, the docudrama films several women from New Jersey who are wealthy. The women get paid fairly well to get into conflicts and attract Twitter followers. The motivation also is to have 20-something minutes a week for 21 weeks to promote whatever product the person is pushing at the time. Examples include a clothing store, cookbooks, a husband's plastic surgery practice, etc. Sometimes there's a charitable aspect to the promotion when the woman champions a philanthropy and the event is center stage for some ratings friendly drama. 

The conflict that is intriguing me is the one between Dolores Catania and Jackie GoldSchneider. At a dinner during a trip to Jamaica, it is revealed and confirmed that Dolores does not like Jackie. It's a rather rude admission based on the fact that Jackie is not Dolores's "cup of tea." Nor is she "cut from the same cloth" as Dolores and her friend Teresa Giudice.

However, when you examine the conflict closer, it is not over culture or the way each were raised. Instead it is over something they have in common: an eating disorder or at the very least an over-preoccupation with weight. Jackie, as we were told last season is a recovering Anorexic. You can practically hear the director telling the cameraman to focus in on her barely eaten plate. Jackie, the child of Jewish liberal professionals, is a writer (the show has helped her writing career), smart and sensitive. 

Dolores is tough as nails. She lives with her ex-husband and father of her children. Together they rehab houses, run a gym and have a frequent-customer card at a nearby a spray tan place.

While it's understandable that these two might not have a lot in common, what's causing conflict is their shared eating disorder. Dolores calls her ex-husband Frank to complain about being fat. She talks about being fat on the beach. She wears a cover up while her friends flaunt their bodies. She looks physically uncomfortable trying to hide whatever imperfection she perceives.

Indeed, while Jackie has addressed her issue through a dietician and therapy and admits to having a problem, Dolores languishes in self hatred. (By the way, Dolores looks great. She's very fit). However, often the parts of ourselves that we don't like are the parts in others that we find the most irritating and unbearable. Dolores hates Jackie's vulnerability, sensitivity, honesty, openness and intelligence. These very qualities Dolores wishes she could access, but can't. So what does she do? She is mean and acts like a classic bully, even imitating Jackie's voice like my preschool-aged son does. 

I hope as the season goes on, Dolores addresses her own food and body demons and apologizes to Jackie. I hope Dolores learns to love herself. 

I hope you haven't judged me too much for writing this. :)