I am a licensed realtor
salesperson and have been for about 9 years.
Don’t worry. I’m not going
to try to sell you a home in this blog.
When I studied for the Real
Estate Exam, the class and the material were difficult for me. In the end, I
excelled, but it took me longer than I thought to understand all of the terms,
perform pretty simple mathematical story problems, and pull it all together.
My brother is my sponsoring
broker. He is excellent at his job and has weathered the tough market due to
his excellent reputation and customer service.
……………
We had some friends over for
dinner tonight and their two children. Something my friend said a couple of
times about seeing two people she knows always “rushing around” has prompted me
to write.
I am guilty of this. I’m
constantly thinking about what I need to do next, almost to (or just above) the
level of compulsivity. This makes me extremely productive, but sometimes I
wonder if that fury is fueled by negative energy. When I’m not being productive, I often get
stuck in feelings of anger, disappointment, exasperation and guilt. It’s only when I return to my normative
frenzied state, that I can take a break from those toxic feelings.
Some might say I should
address the cause of the toxic feelings and correct them. I don’t think the
feelings will ever go away, because to some extent they are based in reality,
or at least my perception of reality. What I do have control over is how I
respond to those feelings.
The frenzy is the easiest
way to escape emotions, but it’s not the healthiest, and it takes a toll.
The best weapon is to pause.
Really Pause.
Pause to have nice friends
over for dinner, but not being compelled to cook a four course dinner for them.
(I made soup, chicken and veggies, they brought the starch and dessert).
Pause to make a cake this
week. I never bake.
Pause to catch up on the
phone with a few friends.
Pause to write an old friend
a verbose email.
Pause to write a blog post.
Pause to call my brother to
give up my real estate license. I had until April 30 to become a broker, as Illinois
I felt bad for a while (I’ve
had a year to complete it) that I wasn’t prioritizing it. But between work,
exercise, a Hebrew class, and getting married in Israel and having a reception
in Indiana, and writing thank you notes, it just wasn’t going to happen.
You may ask why I had a real
estate license in the first place. Part of it in the beginning was to help my
brother out, make a little money, and also due to the encouragement of my dad,also a realtor, that it could be my back up plan. My dad really wanted me to complete the
course.
My brother was really nice about it when I
called him. It was a little bittersweet.
……………..
So without thinking about it
too much, I hope to include many more pauses in my life that will help me not
to be as focused on yesterday and tomorrow. I don’t have a plan (because I plan
too much as it is), but it has to be my priority.
Because I believe living a
life consumed by what’s next and resonating hurt is no way to live at all.
On Thursday, Rabbi Wolpe who I follow on Facebook posted
this on his page which has really resonating with me:
"To pray is to pay attention to something or someone other than
oneself. Whenever a man so concentrates his attention -- on a landscape, a
poem, a geometrical problem, an idol, or the True God -- that he completely
forgets his own ego and desires, he is praying. Choice of attention -- to pay
attention to this and ignore that -- is to the inner life what choice of action
is to the outer."
W.H. Auden
W.H. Auden
I hope this weekend and week that you will have the inspiration to pause,
and I hope that I do too.
1 comment:
On NPR this past year, I heard a story about how people who are depressed by reality are depressed because their brain has moved beyond allowing them to delude themselves into happiness. Conclusion of the show: Reality is depressing.
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