This lesson is meant for high school students. Warning: it’s explicit and where you work might not receive it well. Also, this is for Jewish high school students, but that's just who I teach. The messages are universal.
Opening: Ask the students whether or not they have heard about the death of the Rutgers’ student.
Review what happened: This LA times story is good, but it’s better if you can use a news clip like this one: http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=6916357n&tag=related;photovideo
Like the synagogue I work at, you might not have easy access to internet, so here is the link to a print story:
http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-na-rutgers-suicide-20101001,0,2307696.story
Hand the students the quotes of Jewish “values” text and have them mark which ones were violated in this tragic event. http://www.justaction.org/lessonplans/Section1/Chapter1/Chapter1_Lesson4.pdf
Ask the students how many values on the list were violated in this situation. The number will range, but it will be a significant percentage of the many values listed.
Ask the students if they think the number of values violated correlate to the ultimate tragedy: the death of a human being and why or why not?
Ask the students what, if anything could have been done to prevent the tragedy?
According to the LA times article, one of the alleged perpetrators tweeted:: "Roommate asked for the room till midnight. I went into Molly's room and turned on my webcam. I saw him making out with a dude. Yay."
Read the following from http://www.justaction.org/lessonplans/Section1/Chapter1/Chapter1_Lesson4.pdf
Hakaim Takim Imo – הָקֵם תָּקִים עִמּוֹ – you shall surely lift up with him – A law designed to encourage aid to one in distress, even one’s enemy (Exodus 23:4; T.B. Baba Metzia 32a).
Halbanat Panim – הַלְבָּנַת פָּנִים – avoidance of humiliating someone in public – The loss of personal dignity at the hands of others is considered one of the gravest wrongs in Judaism, akin to murder (T.B. Moed Katan 9b; T.B. Baba Mezia 58bff.; Tractate Kallah, Minor Tractates of the Talmud).
Hochai’ach Tochee’ach – הוֹכֵחַ תּוֹכִיחַ – you shall rebuke – The obligation to be a social critic when you see that society or individuals are making terrible mistakes. Such criticism is viewed as an expression of care for others (Leviticus 19:17; Genesis Rabbah 54).
It is unclear if Molly was in the room, however persons must have seen that Tweet. Had they adhered to the above, perhaps something in motion could have been stopped.
Why is it so hard to stop others from doing evil?
Print this and use some of the questions: http://www.facinghistory.org/resources/facingtoday/what-bystanders-do-when-they and discuss the bystander effect. Print out this story: http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/10/28/california.gang.rape.bystander/index.html
If you have internet access, play this: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=114287592
Ask the students when they have been bystanders, for incidents on the net or even for small off line incidents. As the teacher, you should have a story prepared to start the ball rolling. Discuss why it’s so hard to “interfere” with other people’s business. Ask the students what do they you do if they see that:
Janet has wrote on Cindy’s Facebook wall: “You are such a slut for screwing my ex.”
You receive an SMS that includes a picture of someone’s private parts.
Your friend mass texts to everyone “Jamie is a faggot.”
Takeaway: The students who secretly taped the 18 year old of having sex are easily condemnable, whatever their intentions. (I doubt they thought their actions would lead in a loss of life). Less obvious are those who knew what was happening and did nothing to stop it or to prevent the video from being disseminated. Actually, it is obvious: Judaism commands you to not be a bystander. The wisdom of our sages applies especially in the digital age:
May Tyler Clementi’s memory be for a blessing.
Whoever destroys a soul, it is considered as if he destroyed an entire world. And whoever saves a life, it is considered as if he saved an entire world.- Mishnah Sanhedrin 4:5; Babylonian Talmud Tractate Sanhedrin 37a
Friday, October 1, 2010
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Heroes
I had been having a hard time getting into the Jewish Community Heroes project sponsored by The Jewish Federations of North America. Then I received something on Facebook asking me to vote for my friend who was nominated: , and at first (no offense to the person, you know I love you) I was like, what makes this person a hero?
But then I thought about it, and I am happy that so many diverse Jewish people are being recognized for their commitment to Jewish life and can serve as models for the so many disengaged Jewish Americans who are like the idiot son in the Seder who can't ask a question (come on, he's an idiot. He could have asked how Matza is made.)
I also give credit the the Jewish Federations of North America for coming up with something innovative and grass roots. Nice work. It's also great to see so many people working so hard for Jewish causes, both meta and micro.
So who did I vote for? A bunch of different people. Two I know, the rest I don't.
I'll tell you who I think should be on the list next year:
1. A Congregational Rabbi (NYC)
2. A woman who is the Executive Director of a Jewish Federation (IN)
3. A guy who runs an organization devoted to Mifgash (Chicago)
4. A woman who started a center for Israel education (Chicago)
5. A woman who works her tush off for Taglit-Birthright Israel (LA)
6. My dad
7. A former principal of small city Day Schools (Israel but much of career in U.S.)
8. A principal and Rebbetzin (IN)
9. A great teacher with her PhD (Chicago)
10. A great MD who studies Jewish ethics in the realm of the world of OBGYN (Chicago
11. Another Congregational Rabbi (NYC)
12. A great informal educator (Boston)
13. A asst VP at a Jewish Federation who is awesome and energetic (Chicago)
14. A young woman who brought a hip Jewish publication to fruition (Chicago)
15. Jewish Educator (FL)
16. Holocaust Survivor who tells her story (Chicago)
17. Founder of Clinic to provide affordable health care for the poor (IN)
18. A woman who has raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for not for profits (IN)
19. An assistant basketball coach for an NBA team (Boston)
20. Jewish Educator (Chicago)
21. A Veteran of the Iraq War (DC)
22. Congregational Rabbi (Deerfield)
23. A young woman battling MS who started a fund to battle the illness(CA)
24. Founder of program that empowers teens to get involved politically
25. history professor/minyan starter (CA)
But that's for next year. Go vote here: Jewish Community Heroes . It's motivating to read through the nominations and gave me a push that I can always be doing a little more...
But then I thought about it, and I am happy that so many diverse Jewish people are being recognized for their commitment to Jewish life and can serve as models for the so many disengaged Jewish Americans who are like the idiot son in the Seder who can't ask a question (come on, he's an idiot. He could have asked how Matza is made.)
I also give credit the the Jewish Federations of North America for coming up with something innovative and grass roots. Nice work. It's also great to see so many people working so hard for Jewish causes, both meta and micro.
So who did I vote for? A bunch of different people. Two I know, the rest I don't.
I'll tell you who I think should be on the list next year:
1. A Congregational Rabbi (NYC)
2. A woman who is the Executive Director of a Jewish Federation (IN)
3. A guy who runs an organization devoted to Mifgash (Chicago)
4. A woman who started a center for Israel education (Chicago)
5. A woman who works her tush off for Taglit-Birthright Israel (LA)
6. My dad
7. A former principal of small city Day Schools (Israel but much of career in U.S.)
8. A principal and Rebbetzin (IN)
9. A great teacher with her PhD (Chicago)
10. A great MD who studies Jewish ethics in the realm of the world of OBGYN (Chicago
11. Another Congregational Rabbi (NYC)
12. A great informal educator (Boston)
13. A asst VP at a Jewish Federation who is awesome and energetic (Chicago)
14. A young woman who brought a hip Jewish publication to fruition (Chicago)
15. Jewish Educator (FL)
16. Holocaust Survivor who tells her story (Chicago)
17. Founder of Clinic to provide affordable health care for the poor (IN)
18. A woman who has raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for not for profits (IN)
19. An assistant basketball coach for an NBA team (Boston)
20. Jewish Educator (Chicago)
21. A Veteran of the Iraq War (DC)
22. Congregational Rabbi (Deerfield)
23. A young woman battling MS who started a fund to battle the illness(CA)
24. Founder of program that empowers teens to get involved politically
25. history professor/minyan starter (CA)
But that's for next year. Go vote here: Jewish Community Heroes . It's motivating to read through the nominations and gave me a push that I can always be doing a little more...
Friday, August 27, 2010
An author offered to become a parrot and perch on my shoulder
His name is Etgar Keret. If you want to know about the parrot, read here. More importantly below I have a link to his short stories that are translated and online.
http://www.laweekly.com/authors/etgar-keret/. You can buy his anthologies online translated into English. (Except for the most recent one, it's only in Hebrew).
If you are still reading, something awesome happened besides the parrot thing. This year when I was teaching high schoolers about Israel on Sundays, I brought some of his short stories to class and we read them during one of our last sessions. None of the students had ever heard of them.
Last night I saw one of the students at the reading. She was first in line to buy a copy of his book and get it signed. I was so happy, but too shy to say hello to her. That kind of happiness lives in the fourth dimension that Keret talked about last night.
http://www.laweekly.com/authors/etgar-keret/. You can buy his anthologies online translated into English. (Except for the most recent one, it's only in Hebrew).
If you are still reading, something awesome happened besides the parrot thing. This year when I was teaching high schoolers about Israel on Sundays, I brought some of his short stories to class and we read them during one of our last sessions. None of the students had ever heard of them.
Last night I saw one of the students at the reading. She was first in line to buy a copy of his book and get it signed. I was so happy, but too shy to say hello to her. That kind of happiness lives in the fourth dimension that Keret talked about last night.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
The Man by the Lake
On a balmy Saturday night, August 7, 2010 the city of Chicago was a flurry of activity. With at least three street festivals, Lollapalooza. and a major league baseball game, the glory of summer in Chicago was palpable. And of course what has become sadly norm, there were murders in the City on Saturday as well, which will be followed by wailing mourners at funerals this week proving the Great Gatsby is alive and well in the Midwest.
But something spectacular happened on Saturday night that has nothing to do Green Day’s epic concert, a woman making potato pancakes at Retro on Roscoe, or even a boater saved from drowning.
Cindy Friedman, a Lakeview resident, met up with her friend Betsy at Fullerton and the lake to watch the Navy Pier fireworks. Several other people were there, too, taking in the bright flashes in the dark summer sky above Lake Michigan. Cindy and Betsy were chatting when they noticed a man and woman walking South on the lake front path. Both women noticed that the man was wearing an air cast, but seemed very uncomfortable and was walking with a heavy limp and his foot was going off to the right.
Shortly after he passed them, one of the fireworks spectators started running to the man with the air cast. He yelled, “Sir, hold on, wait, your boot is on backwards, let me help you.”
The man with the air cast said that he had been shot, and this is how the cast was put on.
The fireworks spectator “took off the man’s sock and boot, completely redid it for the man, twisted the boot the right way, spent time with the guy, explaining what was wrong,” Cindy said.
When the man and his friend continued walking south, it was evident that his foot was straight and he was limping much less and looked much more comfortable.
Cindy and Betsy lauded their fellow fireworks spectator. He shrugged and said, “This is what I do when I see a boot not fitting the way it should.”
The good citizen fits children for leg braces for a living.
“It is a beautiful thing to be able to see a good Samaritan at work,” Cindy said. “There should only be more people like the man by the lake.”
written after seeing Cindy's posting on Facebook!
But something spectacular happened on Saturday night that has nothing to do Green Day’s epic concert, a woman making potato pancakes at Retro on Roscoe, or even a boater saved from drowning.
Cindy Friedman, a Lakeview resident, met up with her friend Betsy at Fullerton and the lake to watch the Navy Pier fireworks. Several other people were there, too, taking in the bright flashes in the dark summer sky above Lake Michigan. Cindy and Betsy were chatting when they noticed a man and woman walking South on the lake front path. Both women noticed that the man was wearing an air cast, but seemed very uncomfortable and was walking with a heavy limp and his foot was going off to the right.
Shortly after he passed them, one of the fireworks spectators started running to the man with the air cast. He yelled, “Sir, hold on, wait, your boot is on backwards, let me help you.”
The man with the air cast said that he had been shot, and this is how the cast was put on.
The fireworks spectator “took off the man’s sock and boot, completely redid it for the man, twisted the boot the right way, spent time with the guy, explaining what was wrong,” Cindy said.
When the man and his friend continued walking south, it was evident that his foot was straight and he was limping much less and looked much more comfortable.
Cindy and Betsy lauded their fellow fireworks spectator. He shrugged and said, “This is what I do when I see a boot not fitting the way it should.”
The good citizen fits children for leg braces for a living.
“It is a beautiful thing to be able to see a good Samaritan at work,” Cindy said. “There should only be more people like the man by the lake.”
written after seeing Cindy's posting on Facebook!
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Children's Literary Journal
My friends have kids who are very creative and amazing. After talking to a friend today, I decided to start an online children's literary journal for 7-17 year olds.
If you know of a kid, tween or teen who likes to write or create art and would like to publish their work, check out the guidelines for publication.
Why am I doing this? I remember being a kid who liked to write, and it would have been nice to have something like this.
If you know of a kid, tween or teen who likes to write or create art and would like to publish their work, check out the guidelines for publication.
Why am I doing this? I remember being a kid who liked to write, and it would have been nice to have something like this.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Where the author left me
Recently I’ve been thinking about a book nonstop that I finished several days ago. This happens to me from time to time. However, usually I don’t have the opportunity, as I did this evening, to attend a reading and meet the author of a book that holds hostage my brain for days, sometimes weeks, and sometimes years at a time.
It’s not always an entire narrative that captivates my unbridled interest. Sometimes it’s just a scene, a paragraph or a character. In addition, what captivates me need not contribute significantly to the plot. For example, the last scene in “Girl With the Dragon Tattoo” has stuck with me since I read it over a month ago.
The novel currently occupying my brain cells is “This is Where I Leave You” by Jonathan Tropper, and what I haven’t (until tonight) been able to resolve is how I could enjoy the journey and the persona of the protagonist, while at the same time loathing his misogynist and superficial summations of women and what a man wants in a women.
In fact, Judd Foxman has confirmed what I’ve suspected men think all along: if you aren’t a woman who looks like a model, you aren’t much of a woman at all.
But still, despite my disappointment in Judd, I still adored him. It reminded me of my favorite quote from Eat, Pray Love, a book that I initially loved and then wanted to burn at the end of reading it: “I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone, but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential...I have been a victim of my own optimism. “
Could Judd possibly as big of an asshole as he seemed? Is this really how men are? How they think?
Mr Tropper answered my question. He said, there is a part of all men that are like that. However, Judd is wearing the lenses of a man (and this is on the back of the book so I’m not ruining anything) whose beloved wife has slept with his boss for an entire year and he has just found out about it. He is emasculated, humiliated, and devastated. Of course he is going to look at women negatively.
So Mr. Tropper has rented some sympathy for Judd. But then I realized that had Judd been a woman whose husband had cheated on her, I would have no problem with the male depictions in the book. It is just jarring to read it from a different perspective. The female characters include three adulterous women, a therapist engaged to her patient, and a mother more eccentric than the Barbara Streisand character in Meet the Fockers.
What left me thinking is that despite how empathetic I may think I am, I will inevitably jump to the wrong conclusions sometimes about what motivates people and characters to do what they do and think what they think.
It reminds of a story of when my friend Scott dropped me off at synagogue before Sunday School and I was fretting.
“There’s no way the receptionist actually made the copies or made them correctly. I’m going to just have to do it myself and I’m going to be rushed. I just know it.”
And Scott wisely told me, “Sharna, you don’t know anything.”
And more often than not, he’s right.
Just like, in what I think was the most poignant part the book, Judd realizes what he has thought all along about his relationship with his brother is inaccurate and skewed. I too frequently fall into that pattern and think most of us do.
….
At the book reading I asked Mr. Tropper if he is Jewish. He said that he is and that it would have been really gutsy for someone not Jewish to write a book about a family observing shiva. Then he went on to dismiss the notion (which I didn’t suggest but many other have) that this is a Jewish book.
Mr. Tropper, this is a Jewish book and on your tour you should consider going to Temple B’nai Beth Israel Shalom Emet Sinai Hillel Tikvah. It’s not just the setting that is Jewish, but the conflicts faced by the characters are Jewish problems. It doesn’t mean that the book is not appealing to all audiences, but “This is Where I Leave You” deals with Jewish apathy, identity problems, intermarriage, faithlessness and dysfunctional relationships between parents and their children.
Besides, the spread that they will have at the JCC will probably be better than that ice coffee you drank at Borders.
…..
And one more thing. It is clear that your characters were not very good Hebrew school students as there is a major theological flaw in your entire Shiva premise. Do you know what it is?
…………
New York Times take on the book
Excerpt
Author's Web Site
It’s not always an entire narrative that captivates my unbridled interest. Sometimes it’s just a scene, a paragraph or a character. In addition, what captivates me need not contribute significantly to the plot. For example, the last scene in “Girl With the Dragon Tattoo” has stuck with me since I read it over a month ago.
The novel currently occupying my brain cells is “This is Where I Leave You” by Jonathan Tropper, and what I haven’t (until tonight) been able to resolve is how I could enjoy the journey and the persona of the protagonist, while at the same time loathing his misogynist and superficial summations of women and what a man wants in a women.
In fact, Judd Foxman has confirmed what I’ve suspected men think all along: if you aren’t a woman who looks like a model, you aren’t much of a woman at all.
But still, despite my disappointment in Judd, I still adored him. It reminded me of my favorite quote from Eat, Pray Love, a book that I initially loved and then wanted to burn at the end of reading it: “I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone, but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential...I have been a victim of my own optimism. “
Could Judd possibly as big of an asshole as he seemed? Is this really how men are? How they think?
Mr Tropper answered my question. He said, there is a part of all men that are like that. However, Judd is wearing the lenses of a man (and this is on the back of the book so I’m not ruining anything) whose beloved wife has slept with his boss for an entire year and he has just found out about it. He is emasculated, humiliated, and devastated. Of course he is going to look at women negatively.
So Mr. Tropper has rented some sympathy for Judd. But then I realized that had Judd been a woman whose husband had cheated on her, I would have no problem with the male depictions in the book. It is just jarring to read it from a different perspective. The female characters include three adulterous women, a therapist engaged to her patient, and a mother more eccentric than the Barbara Streisand character in Meet the Fockers.
What left me thinking is that despite how empathetic I may think I am, I will inevitably jump to the wrong conclusions sometimes about what motivates people and characters to do what they do and think what they think.
It reminds of a story of when my friend Scott dropped me off at synagogue before Sunday School and I was fretting.
“There’s no way the receptionist actually made the copies or made them correctly. I’m going to just have to do it myself and I’m going to be rushed. I just know it.”
And Scott wisely told me, “Sharna, you don’t know anything.”
And more often than not, he’s right.
Just like, in what I think was the most poignant part the book, Judd realizes what he has thought all along about his relationship with his brother is inaccurate and skewed. I too frequently fall into that pattern and think most of us do.
….
At the book reading I asked Mr. Tropper if he is Jewish. He said that he is and that it would have been really gutsy for someone not Jewish to write a book about a family observing shiva. Then he went on to dismiss the notion (which I didn’t suggest but many other have) that this is a Jewish book.
Mr. Tropper, this is a Jewish book and on your tour you should consider going to Temple B’nai Beth Israel Shalom Emet Sinai Hillel Tikvah. It’s not just the setting that is Jewish, but the conflicts faced by the characters are Jewish problems. It doesn’t mean that the book is not appealing to all audiences, but “This is Where I Leave You” deals with Jewish apathy, identity problems, intermarriage, faithlessness and dysfunctional relationships between parents and their children.
Besides, the spread that they will have at the JCC will probably be better than that ice coffee you drank at Borders.
…..
And one more thing. It is clear that your characters were not very good Hebrew school students as there is a major theological flaw in your entire Shiva premise. Do you know what it is?
…………
New York Times take on the book
Excerpt
Author's Web Site
Saturday, July 3, 2010
4th of July Reflections
Sorry I haven't been writing much lately. It happens. Here are my last two articles that I blogged for oychicago.
Reflections on the 4th of July: http://www.oychicago.com/blog.aspx?id=6796
Moses couldn't but you can http://www.oychicago.com/blog.aspx?id=6658
Enjoy and have a Happy 4th.
Reflections on the 4th of July: http://www.oychicago.com/blog.aspx?id=6796
Moses couldn't but you can http://www.oychicago.com/blog.aspx?id=6658
Enjoy and have a Happy 4th.
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