Stop texting your teens during the school day

I've said it before and I'll say it again. If you are a parent of an adolescent, please listen to me. Stop texting your kids during school hours. There is no good excuse from detracting from your child's education because of what may be your good intentions or convenience. Example: I was working with an 11th grader on the student's research paper. Every three seconds, the student's mom was writing her on a text messaging service that has an app he/she can use on her Mac. (I ask them to turn of their phones during class.)

"Hi honey."

"How are you?"

"Are you having a good day?"

"How did your test go?"

"Hello?"

"Are you there?"

"Why aren't you answering? Is everything okay."

Do you think the kid could focus on the research paper? I couldn't even focus on the research paper because I was reading the texts. Also, because my interaction with her took longer as she was unfocused, and so was I, I couldn't help as many students as I wanted to.

Your kids are okay. And if they are not, your text messages aren't going to help them. You are negatively impacting their education and denying them their God given right to become independent, secure adults.

If you are compulsive, and I am as well, so I get it, download an app where you can schedule your texts to arrive to your kids' messenger service a minute before school ends. That way you won't forget what you need to tell them, and you won't be bothering them all day.

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Rabin: The Mourning After ... Twenty Years Later

Much has been written recently about the assassination of Yitzhak Rabin as yesterday was the 20th anniversary of his murder.  Analysis has understandably focused on the effect of Rabin's policies given the current tensions between Arab and Israelis and how politics have changed in Israel since his death. 

In this article I spoke to several Israeli friends who were teenagers when Rabin was murdered. What were the days after Rabin's death like for them? How did his murder impact their lives? Do they still believe in his vision of peace or are they resigned to the conflict? Here are their answers. 

After the assassination of Yitzhak Rabin on November 4, 1995  young people stood day and night at the site of which is now called Rabin Square to mourn the prime minister. They stood vigil with candles and were called “The Candle Children.” The photographs at the time depicted young people seemingly lost in darkness with a small flicker of light shining on their mournful faces.

However, not everyone who was young during Rabin’s assassination considered themselves part of the “Candle Children.” They or their families didn’t support his politics. Nevertheless, the assassination was the most impactful national event of their lives and the reverberations of the gunshot that ended Israel’s innocence can still be felt today.

Shahar, a tour guide from Pardes Chana took part in the rally and heard the shots. He went home after the rally and found out that Rabin had died. He returned the next day.

“The day after the assassination I arrived at the square and there were a lot of people who sang, lit candles, and wrote messages on the walls of City Hall,” Shahar said.

Children and teenagers who weren’t at the rally also remember where they were when they heard the news.

“I was at home watching the Peace Rally,”  said Tomer, the director of nonprofit outside Jerusalem. “After he was shot, there were reports on the news all of the time, but no one believed he would die. When it was announced that he died, we were so shocked.”

Lior, a graduate student, woke his parents up to tell them the news that Rabin had been shot.

“I remember my parents crying,” Lior said.

Lior visited the site of the assassination a few days later to light a candle.

“Children and teenagers from the youth movements filled the square,” Lior said. “The ones from Tel Aviv and the youth movements were there all of the time.”  

Efrat, a photographer from Eilat, didn’t go to Tel Aviv, but  did visit Rabin’s grave a few days after his death.

“I remember the days after the assassination were extremely sad days in Israel,” Efrat said. "Many people had faith in him wanting him to finally bring peace to our region. They didn’t think anyone else could fit in his shoes.”

The aftermath of the assassination was devastating for Israel and the peace process.

“Before he was murdered there was hope for peace,”  Tomer said. “After, the hope was replaced by a pessimism about the future of our nation and the possibility to conduct a real dialogue among people with different points of view. ”

Eran, an IT director from Ramat Gan did not support Rabin’s politics and in fact blames him for some of Israel’s problems today.

“I was right wing then, I am right wing today,” Eran said. “However, I was against his murder then and I am against his murder today.”

For Shahar, it propelled him to understand how important it is to be an active member of society.

“If you let other people get involved for you, that’s when disaster happens,” Shahar said.

So what exactly is Rabin’s legacy for the “Candle Children?”  

“He believed in giving everything of yourself for the sake of the state,” Tomer said. “ He believed that you have to fight to the end to protect the state, but also strive to change and reach out for peace.”

Lior agreed.

“He was a soldier and a general and towards the end of his life he realized that this particular conflict cannot be solved with military force,” Lior said.

Yariv, a banker in Tel Aviv,  lit a candle at the Square after Rabin’s murder. He said the lesson to Israel from the devastating event was “the importance of unity over being right.”

Shahar echoed Yariv’s sentiment. “Rabin always did what he thought was right for the country. He was always brave.”

Is the hope for peace gone? Perhaps for some it has dimmed, but for Efrat, she still envisions a better future and that one day  “there will be a genuine peace agreement that will open this amazing Middle East to the world where there are no real borders and anyone could come and visit and cross between countries like they cross between states in the US.”

Selfies and Death Camps

Good evening!

I've had an article published in eJewish Philanthropy about the role of the educator on trips to Poland.

Click here to read it. Let me know what you think!

I've published a few articles there. Take a look if you are interested. 

Lesson plan to discuss the death of Tyler Clementi

This lesson is meant for high school students. Warning: it’s explicit and where you work might not receive it well. Also, this is for Jewish high school students, but that's just who I teach. The messages are universal.

Opening: Ask the students whether or not they have heard about the death of the Rutgers’ student.

Review what happened: This LA times story is good, but it’s better if you can use a news clip like this one: http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=6916357n&tag=related;photovideo

Like the synagogue I work at, you might not have easy access to internet, so here is the link to a print story:
http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-na-rutgers-suicide-20101001,0,2307696.story
Hand the students the quotes of Jewish “values” text and have them mark which ones were violated in this tragic event. http://www.justaction.org/lessonplans/Section1/Chapter1/Chapter1_Lesson4.pdf

Ask the students how many values on the list were violated in this situation. The number will range, but it will be a significant percentage of the many values listed. 

Ask the students if they think the number of values violated correlate to the ultimate tragedy: the death of a human being and why or why not?

Ask the students what, if anything could have been done to prevent the tragedy?

According to the LA times article, one of the alleged perpetrators tweeted:: "Roommate asked for the room till midnight. I went into Molly's room and turned on my webcam. I saw him making out with a dude. Yay."

Read the following from http://www.justaction.org/lessonplans/Section1/Chapter1/Chapter1_Lesson4.pdf
Hakaim Takim Imo – הָקֵם תָּקִים עִמּוֹ – you shall surely lift up with him – A law designed to encourage aid to one in distress, even one’s enemy (Exodus 23:4; T.B. Baba Metzia 32a).

Halbanat Panim – הַלְבָּנַת פָּנִים – avoidance of humiliating someone in public – The loss of personal dignity at the hands of others is considered one of the gravest wrongs in Judaism, akin to murder (T.B. Moed Katan 9b; T.B. Baba Mezia 58bff.; Tractate Kallah, Minor Tractates of the Talmud).

Hochai’ach Tochee’ach – הוֹכֵחַ תּוֹכִיחַ – you shall rebuke – The obligation to be a social critic when you see that society or individuals are making terrible mistakes. Such criticism is viewed as an expression of care for others (Leviticus 19:17; Genesis Rabbah 54).

It is unclear if Molly was in the room, however persons must have seen that Tweet. Had they adhered to the above, perhaps something in motion could have been stopped.

Why is it so hard to stop others from doing evil?

Print this and use some of the questions: http://www.facinghistory.org/resources/facingtoday/what-bystanders-do-when-they and discuss the bystander effect.  Print out this story: http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/10/28/california.gang.rape.bystander/index.html
If you have internet access, play this: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=114287592

Ask the students when they have been bystanders, for incidents on the net or even for small off line incidents. As the teacher, you should have a story prepared to start the ball rolling. Discuss why it’s so hard to “interfere” with other people’s business. Ask the students what do they you do if they see that:

Janet has wrote on Cindy’s Facebook wall: “You are such a slut for screwing my ex.”
You receive an SMS that includes a picture of someone’s private parts.
Your friend mass texts to everyone “Jamie is a faggot.”

Takeaway: The students who secretly taped the 18 year old of having sex are easily condemnable, whatever their intentions. (I doubt they thought their actions would lead in a loss of life). Less obvious are those who knew what was happening and did nothing to stop it or to prevent the video from being disseminated. Actually, it is obvious: Judaism commands you to not be a bystander. The wisdom of our sages applies especially in the digital age:

May Tyler Clementi’s memory be for a blessing.

Whoever destroys a soul, it is considered as if he destroyed an entire world. And whoever saves a life, it is considered as if he saved an entire world.- Mishnah Sanhedrin 4:5; Babylonian Talmud Tractate Sanhedrin 37a

Let her be...

Give Bristol Palin a break.

As a teenager, she fell for a guy, had unprotected sex which resulted in a pregnancy, decided to keep the baby and try for marriage with said guy.

I’ve seen more understanding in the media for murderers and girlfriend beaters.

Here are some of the headlines I've seen about the break up:
Bristol Palin splits with ‘white trash’ Levi Johnston (Boston Herald)
OMG! Bristol and Levi are dunzo! (Christian Science Monitor - yeah I know)
Bristol Palin, fiance Levi Johnston split. Surprised? (LA Times)
Bristol Palin and Her Baby Daddy Break Up (E Online)
Bristol Palin Dumps Sex on Skates! (New York Magazine)

Put yourself in her shoes. Her mom, out of left field, ran for vice president while she, a pregnant teen, was shoved into the international spotlight wearing maternity clothes and then shoved back to the family compound to avoid embarrassing the campaign.

Governor Sarah Palin, sadly, used her own daughter to promote her flawed so called family values agenda. The abstinence only education that Governor Palin touts is totally ridiculous, but it’s unfair that Bristol Palin will be lampooned for the governor’s inadequacies both as a reasonable thinker and as a mother.

You can choose your Vice President, but you can’t choose your mother.

And hopefully Bristol will be a better mother to her son and empower him with sex education so that he will have his first child when he is ready.

Palin Pregnancy a Problem

I am concerned about Levi Johnston and his pregnant girlfriend, Bristol.

And although Senator Obama has not attacked Governor Palin on this issue, because as he said the issue is personal and his own mother was 18 when she had him; I think she should be criticized.

And not with the hateful rhetoric that emerges from a google search Levi Johnson or Bristol Palin: red neck, knocked up. This is criticism based on the reality of their situation.

I don’t blame them (entirely) for the unwed pregnancy. On the other hand at most Governor Palin is to blame for her daughter’s situation and at the least she is a willing bystander to this disaster. How can we expect her to lead the country (as she is heartbeats away from the presidency) when the future of her daughter and her daughter’s boyfriend is smashing into a melting polar iceberg?

You don’t have to be a governor of a huge state to understand statistics. And if Governor Palin doesn’t hold weight in her own family, how can she possibly influence world leaders or even the U.S. Senate?

What prompted this post was in a recent interview with the Associated Press, Levi Johnston said that will no be returning to high school to complete his degree: “Johnston has dropped out of high school to take a job on the North Slope oil fields as an apprentice electrician.”

According to U.S. census data from the last decade, a high school drop out can expect to make about $23,000 a year; a high school graduate: $30,000; a college graduate: about $52,000. The numbers are slightly dated, but the ratios have likely not changed. If anything, with the most recent economic crisis, worse times could be coming. Why would Governor Palin not insist that her daughter’s boyfriend finish high school? It’s almost laughable to hear her talk about school reform when underachievement is a marker of her own family.

Another decision, also misguided according to statistics, is their decision to get married. The AP reported: “While Johnston provided few details about next summer's wedding, the planning has started.”

I wonder if Governor Palin told her daughter and son-in-law-to-be that 70 percent of teen mothers are no longer in their first marriages by the age of 40, according to the National Campaign, an organization that discourages teen pregnancy.

Even if they defy the odds and stay married, according to The National Campaign, the Levy child is likely to suffer. The study shows that children of teenagers have lower cognitive abilities, lower academic achievement, are more likely to have behavior problems and be jailed.

And what if Bristol Palin (and Ms. Spears) serves as a role model to young girls who do not come from affluence? What if this abstinence only evolving to pregnant teens becomes the norm? It’s a possibility given there was a 3 percent increase in teen pregnancy in 2006.

According to the National Campaign the cost to the mother and to society is great. Teenager mothers cost U.S. taxpayers 9 billion dollars when you figure in welfare for child and mother, lost taxable income, and other elements.

I thought Republicans wanted smaller government and to discourage a welfare state?

Look, I hope Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston stay married for 75 years. I hope that their child grows up to be healthy and happy. However, the statistics don't lie. They are a symbol of the problem with Governor Palin and the Christian Conservatives that Senator McCain hoped she would bring to the table to unify the Republican Party. Teaching your children, teaching our children, abstinence only education leads to sociological and economic disaster for both the teenagers having children and their babies. If your religious or moral beliefs teach that sex before marriage is wrong, that’s fine, teach that it is wrong, but as my mother, who married at age 20 said to me (totally unnecessarily by the way) before I went to camp when I was 16, “I don’t want you to have sex. I think sex before marriage is wrong. But if you are going to have sex, use a condom.”

How can you argue with the legitimacy of that advice? And if you do, how can we trust you to be Vice President?


Sources:

The report from the National Campaign


Rise in teen pregnancy rates

Education and salary data

Interview with Levi Johnston