On the day you were born, after having contractions for two
days, I woke up and my water was leaking. Even though you were only 35.5 weeks,
it seemed like you were done hanging out and wanted to meet all of the people
who love you. Your abba drove in heavy traffic to Northwestern University's Prentice
Hospital. It took 45 minutes to drive five miles.
You probably wanted out a little early because I had something called cholestasis of pregnancy.
My entire pregnancy I had a pain in my upper right quadrant and the last
few weeks of your life, terrible itching on the bottom of my feet, my
hands, arms and legs. Your abba and I kept saying that I was a chatul,
which is Hebrew for cat.
He pulled up the car, walked
us to their intake room. I waited as he parked, which is no easy task between 9-10 a.m. Then we were sent to a triage to make sure that my water had really broken
and it wasn’t something else.
The lovely nurse did the test and 15 minutes later she came back with the results. “You are having a baby today!” she said. Your abba and I both said, “Yeah!!!” and I started texting family and friends.
We were taken up to a delivery room and I was given petossin
to move the process along. On a side
note, two other Israeli babies that we knew were being born on the same floor,
but they pulled rank on you and were born on the 9th.
Happily, my doctor, Dr. Moses, was at the hospital that day,
and he came to check on me several times. My old friend Dr.
Jennifer Miller was also at the hospital that day and she came to visit. Your
Uncle R-Jay is an anesthesiologist at the hospital, and came to visit a
lot. Your dad was sitting at the table finishing a paper he had due that day for his history class. At some point, I think our entire
family, mom, dad, Eric, was there visiting, too. Although this is where it gets
a little fuzzy.
Later in the evening, my body wasn’t exactly doing what it was supposed to and I
wasn’t progressing. At some point, your heart rate dropped and I was on my hands
and knees on the bed with what seemed like 20 medical professionals in the
room. It was very scary. Your heart rate went back to normal and from then on I wore an
oxygen mask. I was a little scared, but I really had faith in the doctors. At
this point it was evening and Dr. Moses had already gone home to take care of his three
beautiful, smart kids; Dr. Starr was on duty. I had never met Dr. Starr
before, but I liked her immediately because she exuded confidence. She told me after the heart rate incident
that if it happened again, there would be a good chance that you would be born
by C-Section. I was okay with that, as my best friends and your Bubbie had all
had C-Sections. Dr. Starr did something
though to help me progress, and it worked and I began to dilate faster. I was not quite fully dilated when your heart rate dropped again. A team
of about 20 again came in and Dr. Starr looked me straight in eyes and said “this baby needs to come out now.” She
took the forceps and after a few pushes, took you out. Sometimes your mom thinks of things at weird times, and when she took you out I was thinking that I hope you would grow up
to be as confident and competent in whatever you do as she was.
We didn’t know your gender and were excited to find out that
you were a girl. You didn’t cry at first, but after a team of doctors worked on
you for probably 30 seconds, maybe more, you screamed! It was the best sound I
have ever heard.
Then I can’t remember who held you first, me or your abba.
We were taken to our room and you were declared healthy. You
were five pounds, two ounces. You were a little small, but didn’t need any
medical intervention. You were so cute and had the biggest eyes ever.
 |
| Minutes old. |
……
On the day of your first birthday, you woke up with those
same eyes, only brighter, but you were also a little crabby. I changed your diaper and
got you ready for school. After a bottle, you were your usually smiley self.
I dropped you off, and you had a huge smile because
you love the woman who takes care of you. I went to work, but all day all I could think
about was you. I picked you up at 3:15.
Your Sabba and Savta came over at 4:30 and you and I got in
the car at 4:45 to head to Jerusalem to spend some time with your Abba on
Shabbat. They came over to help on
Saturday so I could get some rest (although I’m writing this while they are out
on a walk with you).
Your Abba has been leading tours for 18 to 26 year olds and
hasn’t been home in a month. You and I also just made a trip to and from the US, your
third trip!!!! You already have 36,000 frequent flyer miles at age 1. We drove
to Jerusalem. You slept the entire way. I used Waze and it took me down a road
that had I actually evaluated, I would have avoided. First we stopped at our
friends' house, Yaniv, Dafi, Guy and Michael. They gave us some supplies we needed. Then
we headed to meet your Abba at the hotel.
Your Abba had bought you a cake, and we were trying to
figure out when to give it to you. It was already Shabbat, and although we
aren’t observant, we didn’t want to bother anyone else. We asked the hotel for dairy plates and went
to a corner of the lobby with a candle and the beautiful cake that your father
bought. Luckily, just as we were about to do the cake, our old colleague Sara
Weiner came in and agreed to be our photographer. THANK YOU SARA. We lit the candle and sang happy birthday. You, me and your Abba
blew it out and wished for you a healthy, happy year.
Your father had to take care of some business and I went to
eat with his group: 40 college students from Brown University and 7 IDF
officers. This was an apropos way to spend your birthday, because your dad and
I met on one of these trips!!!!
The Brown students were so sweet and loved you. You were
flirting with them like crazy. Your abba and I didn’t know this, but they
planned a surprise. They had the hotel bring out a piece of cake for you with a
sparkling candle. All 50 of them sang happy birthday, and well, you started
screaming and crying. The right word is whaling. It was a little too much for
you, but I was impressed by how sweet they were and thanked them profusely.
This is a credit to them but also to your abba, who everyone loves as their
tour guide.
Maya, this is definitely not how I envisioned my child's first birthday. I would have thought of a big celebration with other kids, cake, balloons, my parents, brothers, their wives, your American cousins. Next week you will have that kind of celebration with your Israeli cousins, and I'm sure it will be beautiful, there will be an awesome cake, and the food will be delicious.
But on the day of your birthday, I pictured it differently. I pictured you unwrapping presents and playing with the boxes. I pictured you throwing your face in a Dainty Maid cake.
But I want you to learn something that took a long time, too long, for your mommy to learn. Sometimes the way we picture things are not the way they are meant or need to be.
And the way that things are is just perfect.
We left the hotel at 9:30 p.m and arrived home at 10:45. It
was a quick trip and a bit chaotic, but I don’t and didn't regret it. I wanted you to
spend your first birthday just like you spent the first hours after you were
born: with your abba and me.
And it was perfect.
Video of Maya eating her cake.
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