A response to a forward I received this morning about the supremacy of Conservatives

An anonymous relative with more conservative viewpoints than myself sent this to me today. The items in itals are what he sent me. The items in bold are my responses.

1.
If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn`t buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative sees people getting killed by guns, he doesn't care and hopes his stocks in GunsRUs improves.
If a liberal sees people getting killed by guns, he wants to develop policy to protect the innocent.

2.
If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn`t eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for
everyone.

So stupid not worth a response.

3.
If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat
his enemy.
A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.

If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to make up evidence to make the threat seem more iminent and dangerous than it is.

If a liberal sees a foreign threat, he seeks out truth and acts based on fact, not fiction or God's word.

4.
If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a conservative is homosexual, he gets married to a woman only to embarass her and his kids by having affairs with men.

If a liberal is a homosexual, he wishes his sexuality wasn't politicized and that he could have equal rights protected under the law.

5.

If a black man or Hispanic are conservative, they see themselves as
independently successful.
Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government
protection.

I don't think all successful black and Hispanic men are conservatives. But maybe I voted for the wrong president.

6.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his
situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

So the unemployed conservatives aren't cashing their unemployment checks? Really? Somehow I doubt it.

7.
If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.

If a conservative talk show host lies and has no substance to his arguments he is considered heroic.

If a liberal talk show host lies and has no substance to his arguments, he doesn't have a talk show.

8.
If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
(Unless it's a foreign religion, of course!)

If a conservative is a non-believer, he better not run for political office, because he will be shunned for having common sense.

If a liberal non-believer runs for office, he will be respected for his point of view towards religion.

9.
If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for
it, or may choose a job that provides it.

A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes shopping for it, can't find it because he's been denied due to preexisting medical conditions, looks for a job that provides it, isn't hired, and suddenly becomes an advocate of health care reform.

A liberal wants to help even this hypocrite because health care is a basic human right.

10.
If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs and is
embarrassed.

If a liberal slips and falls, he grabs his neck, moans like he's in labor
and then sues.

If a conservative sees someone slip and falls, and it is someone of a different color, he'll hesistate to help him up.

If a liberal slips and falls, he'll get up and clean the spill that caused him to become hurt in the first place.

11.
If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a
good laugh.

A liberal will delete it because he's "offended".

NOT THIS LIBERAL.