Like you, I assume, holidays make me nostalgic for loved ones who are no longer with us. I have written countless times about my grandmother, whose house I was at every Friday night until I was 15 years old, when she became too sick to cook. I was the youngest, so my brothers and cousins and parents and aunt were with her much more than I was for many more Sabbath and holiday dinners. Still the memory of her is so vivid in my mind. Specifically the the smell of her house (matzah ball soup – even when it wasn’t cooking) and her language of choice – Yiddish.
I have learned to recreate her matza ball soup, each batch more authentic than the last. I made it for my second seder (passover meal) on Thursday and it tasted almost exactly like hers except cooked probably with a little less heart and soul.
What I can’t recreate is Yiddish as the lexicon of expression within my family and my surroundings. Remnants of this Hebraic-European-Germanic language can be found on Seinfeld, Woody Allen movies and even on the Daily Show. But as a language goes, it’s not spoken much anymore except in very small ultra-religious circles.
In college, I had the opportunity to study it, but instead minored in Modern Hebrew, a language which after studying since the age of 6, I have still failed to somehow master. Perhaps, even though I travel to Israel all of the time, perhaps even though I love the country and her people, the Hebrew language doesn’t grab me emotionally like Yiddish. Or maybe they are just different: like comparing hummus to cholent.
So, I thought this fifth night of Passover I would write down some Yiddish phrases that I used to hear a lot as a kid and do not hear much anymore. Yiddish was written using Hebrew letters, so pardon my transliteration. Also, I do not actually speak Yiddish, so there may be some inaccuracies due to phrases being out of context. Feel free to add your own in the comments section, or add phrases in the tongue of your grandparents’ native tongue that have been lost in the amalgamation of language.
[so I tried to do this and I couldn’t. I had to cheat. I knew there were so many words that I just couldn’t retrieve. And then I went to http://www.pass.to/glossary/Default.htm and it blew my mind. All of the sudden, all of these words from my childhood came back to me. Not everything was there, but I copied and pasted from this web site what I remembered. What a trip! Now I understand why my friends would come over and say, "I have no idea what your family is saying half the time." Full credit goes to Rabbi Dan S. Wiko, PhD, and his glossary. I only included the words that I remembered hearing during my childhood. His web site has many more. Also note, all the words used in American popular culture. One more thing: I left out some of the more offensive phrases my grandparents used to say.]
A brocheh - A blessing
A chazer – a pig
Meshugeneh - Mad, crazy, insane female.
Meshugener - Mad, crazy, insane man
A langer lucksh- a tall, skinny guy
A volf farlirt zayne hor, ober nit zayn natur - A wolf loses his hair but not his nature. "A leopard cannot change his spots."
Alef-bais - Alphabet; the first two letters of the Jewish alphabet
Alevei! - It should happen to me (to you)!
Alter Kocker - An old man or old woman.
Az och un vai! - Tough luck! Too bad! Misfortune!
Bashert - Fated or predestined
Bentsh - To bless, to recite a blessing
Bentshen lecht - Recite prayer over lit candles on Sabbath eve or Holy Day candles
Boychik - Young boy (term of endearment)
Bupkis - Nothing. Something totally worthless (Lit., Beans)
Chazzer - A pig (one who eats like a pig)
Chochem - A wise man (Slang: A wise guy)
Derech erets – Respect
Drai mir nit kain kop! - Don't bother me!
Drek - Human dung, feces, manure or excrement; inferior merchandise or work; insincere talk or excessive flattery
Emes - The truth
Shpilkes – The condition of not being able to sit still
Faigelah - Bird (also used as a derogatory reference to a gay person)
Farklempt - Too emotional to talk. Ready to cry.
Farkakte (taboo) - Dungy, shitty
Farshtaist? - You understand?
Feh! - Fooey, It stinks, It's no good
Fressing – Making something almost too good, going crazy over something.
Gai gezunterhait! - Go in good health
Gevalt! - Heaven Forbid!
Gut Shabbos - Good Sabbath
Gut Yontif - Happy Holiday
Ich darf es vi a loch in kop! - I need it like a hole in the head!
Ich hob dir lieb - I love you!
Kaporeh, (kapores) - Atonement sacrifice;
Kaynahorah - the evil eye
Ketzele – Kitten
(To) Kibbitz - To offer unsolicited advice as a spectator
Kibbitzer - Meddlesome spectator
Knish (taboo) – Vagina
Kurveh - Whore, prostitute
Lantsman - Countryman, neighbour, fellow townsman from "old country".
Lig in drerd! - Get lost! Drop dead! (Lit., Bury yourself!)
Lokshen – Noodles
Macher - big shot, person with access to authorities, man with contacts.
Mameleh - Mother dear
K'vetsh - Whine, complain; whiner, a complainer
Mashugga – Crazy
Mechutonim - In-Laws (The parents of your child's spouse)
Mentsh - A special man or person. One who can be respected.
Meshpokha - Extended family
Meshugass - Madness, insanity, craze
Meshugeh - Crazy
Mieskeit - Ugly thing or person.
Nebach - It's a pity. Unlucky, pitiable person.
Nebbish - A nobody, simpleton, weakling, awkward person
Neshomeh - Soul, spirit
Nosh – Snack
Nudnik - Pesty nagger, nuisance, a bore, obnoxious person
Oi vai iz mir! - Woe is me!
Oysgeputst - Dressed up, overdressed; over decorated
Patsh - Slap, smack on the cheek
Pipek - Navel, belly button
Ponem - Face
Poo, poo, poo - Simulate spitting three times to avoid the evil eye
Potchke - Fool around or "mess" with
Pulke - The upper thigh
Rachmones - Compassions, mercy, pity
Saykhel - Common sense
Shaineh maidel - pretty girl
Shandeh - Shame or disgrace
Shlemiel - Clumsy bungler, an inept person, butter-fingered; dopey person
Shlep - Drag, carry or haul, particularly unnecessary things, parcels or baggage; to go somewhere unwillingly or where you may be unwanted
Shlub - A jerk; a foolish, stupid or unknowing person, second rate, inferior.
Shlump - Careless dresser, untidy person; as a verb, to idle or lounge around
Shmaltz - Grease or fat; (slang) flattery; to sweet talk, overly praise, dramatic
Shmaltzy - Sentimental, corny
Shmatteh - Rag, anything worthless
Shmendrik - nincompoop; an inept or indifferent person; same as shlemiel
Shmo(e) - Naive person, easy to deceive; a goof (Americanism)
Shmuck (tabboo) - Self-made fool; obscene for penis: derisive term for a man
Shtik drek (taboo) - Piece of shit; shit-head
Tachlis - Practical purpose, result
Tateh, tatteh, tatteh, tatteleh, tatinka, tatteniu - Father, papa, daddy, pop
Tateh-mameh, papa-mama – Parents
Tsores - Troubles, misery
Um-be-shrien - God forbid! It shouldn't happen!
Utz - To goad, to needle
Ver vaist? - Who knows?
Vos hob ich dos gedarft? - What did I need it for?
Zaftik - Pleasantly plump and pretty. Sensuous looking (Lit., juicy)
Zoineh – Prostitute
Kutz- something little
Zei gezunt en laben longiyurn and sheyn vaksen (what my Bubbie used to say after we sneezed)
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Friday, April 10, 2009
Letter to Muslims and Arabs about Holocaust
Dear Muslims and Arabs from around the world who are enraged about the situation in Gaza,
Whether I agree or disagree is not the point. The point is STOP COMPARING THE SITUATION IN GAZA TO THE NAZI HOLOCAUST. They are not comparable or similar. When you do so, you sound like a bunch of crazies with no legitimate claims.
Worse, when your leaders and professors make up lies about the Holocaust, or even when you publish lies about the Holocaust, you are doing a disservice to your own people as well as those who perished at the hands of their Nazi persecutors. How can anyone trust anything you say when you begin your argument with fictitious accusations?
Holocaust denial has caused more harm to the Muslim world than good. Your causes are viewed with little sympathy because you sound unreasonable and irrational.
Let’s start with the truth. Demand it from your leaders. Demand it for your teachers. Demand it from yourselves and then the conversation can go from there.
Until then, I don’t know how you can expect to get anything accomplished for the Palestinians from human rights to statehood.
I would tell you the article that I read that led to this posting, but the web site doesn't deserve the publicity and neither does the author.
Whether I agree or disagree is not the point. The point is STOP COMPARING THE SITUATION IN GAZA TO THE NAZI HOLOCAUST. They are not comparable or similar. When you do so, you sound like a bunch of crazies with no legitimate claims.
Worse, when your leaders and professors make up lies about the Holocaust, or even when you publish lies about the Holocaust, you are doing a disservice to your own people as well as those who perished at the hands of their Nazi persecutors. How can anyone trust anything you say when you begin your argument with fictitious accusations?
Holocaust denial has caused more harm to the Muslim world than good. Your causes are viewed with little sympathy because you sound unreasonable and irrational.
Let’s start with the truth. Demand it from your leaders. Demand it for your teachers. Demand it from yourselves and then the conversation can go from there.
Until then, I don’t know how you can expect to get anything accomplished for the Palestinians from human rights to statehood.
I would tell you the article that I read that led to this posting, but the web site doesn't deserve the publicity and neither does the author.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Porkless Donuts
I started a petition in support of an Arab American who was told he had to give up his Dunkin’ Donuts franchise license because he wouldn’t serve pork in his stores. According to a Chicago Tribune article, he was able to have the store sans pork from 1979-2002 until Dunkin’ Donuts “would not renew his franchise agreement if he did not sell its full line of products.”
After a seven year court battle, higher courts found that Dunkin’ Donuts could refuse to renew his franchise license.
I don’t necessarily disagree with the court ruling. I’m not a legal scholar. Their interpretation of law and the constitution is probably correct.
My issue is with Dunkin’ Donuts the company acting without a moral compass.
So you might be asking, why do I care?
There is something about this that has struck a nerve. Maybe it’s because I know there is a kosher Dunkin’ Donuts on Devon. Maybe because I know there are porkless Dunkin’ Donuts in Arab and Muslim countries.
Maybe it’s because, according to the Tribune, he bought the license back in the 70s, instead of a lets say, McDonald’s, because then Dunkin’ Donuts didn’t serve pork products.
Or maybe because I’ve recently become obsessed with genealogy and am simply amazed that my 8 great grandparents emigrated from Eastern Europe, survived the Great Depression, and have descendants all of whom have realized the American Dream, mostly to a great degree.
I don’t know where Walid Elkhatib is from and I don’t really care, to be honest. All I know, is that he is a first generation American and he deserves to run his business within the confines of his religious beliefs, just as he has done since I was just a little girl.
He’s not asking to close during Ramadan. He’s just asking not to serve pork. It’s not like he’s running a ham shop and asking not to serve pork. He wants to sell doughnuts, muffins and coffee at Dunkin’ Donuts.
My message to Dunkin’ Donuts is as follows: just let him and stop being such corporate jerks.
Sign the petition
Read the Tribune article
After a seven year court battle, higher courts found that Dunkin’ Donuts could refuse to renew his franchise license.
I don’t necessarily disagree with the court ruling. I’m not a legal scholar. Their interpretation of law and the constitution is probably correct.
My issue is with Dunkin’ Donuts the company acting without a moral compass.
So you might be asking, why do I care?
There is something about this that has struck a nerve. Maybe it’s because I know there is a kosher Dunkin’ Donuts on Devon. Maybe because I know there are porkless Dunkin’ Donuts in Arab and Muslim countries.
Maybe it’s because, according to the Tribune, he bought the license back in the 70s, instead of a lets say, McDonald’s, because then Dunkin’ Donuts didn’t serve pork products.
Or maybe because I’ve recently become obsessed with genealogy and am simply amazed that my 8 great grandparents emigrated from Eastern Europe, survived the Great Depression, and have descendants all of whom have realized the American Dream, mostly to a great degree.
I don’t know where Walid Elkhatib is from and I don’t really care, to be honest. All I know, is that he is a first generation American and he deserves to run his business within the confines of his religious beliefs, just as he has done since I was just a little girl.
He’s not asking to close during Ramadan. He’s just asking not to serve pork. It’s not like he’s running a ham shop and asking not to serve pork. He wants to sell doughnuts, muffins and coffee at Dunkin’ Donuts.
My message to Dunkin’ Donuts is as follows: just let him and stop being such corporate jerks.
Sign the petition
Read the Tribune article
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Moon; step off, it's the sun's turn to be blessed
So, in case you missed it, I’m Jewish. I affiliate with Conservative Judaism, although I would define myself (admitted very dorkily that I would even define myself) as a post-denominational American Zionist. Like so many Jews of my generation, I feel that I transcend categorization, mostly because I don’t like to be told that I’m wrong. Heck. I don’t even know that I like to be told that I’m right, because I distrust anything and everything.
I guess that would make me a post denominational American Jewish Zionist skeptic.
Maybe I should start raising money for the PDAJZS. A dinner perhaps downtown? Any donors?
My theology is as follows:
Egalitarianism – (but if you don’t believe in it, fine, don’t believe in it. Whatever works for you, but don’t expect me to join your synagogue because there are good looking guys looking for wives, because I’m not going to unless you let me have an aliyah to the Torah).
Pilgrimage Every Jew should go to Israel at least once in their lives, similar to the Muslim Hajj.
Intelligent support of Israel Supporting Israel is a critical, but that support doesn’t mean blindly endorsing Israeli policies be it from lack of some civil rights for minorities to Ultra Orthodox women sitting in the back of the buses (What is up with that?)
Life long study Jewish continuity depends on knowledge of basic traditions, life cycle events, liturgy as prayer or poetry, the Jewish Narrative (Tanak), Jewish history, Jewish culture, an understanding of Jewish practice in its realities and Judaism as it fits into the spectrum of world religions.
Hebrew The ability to access Hebrew in the text as well as in its modern usage.
What inspired me to put this on paper? Two things actually:
This satirical promotional video on Jewish ignorance
And a Jewish ritual that happens every 28 years that I just learned about called the blessing over the creation of the sun.
Every month Jews bless the new month. The sun only gets its due every 28 years. Why the sun is celebrated in this cycle is explained in the link above (although probably a learned Rabbi would explain it even better.)
The blessing goes like this:
Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the Universe, Who makes the Work of Creation.
Tradition declares that a week from Wednesday, the sun will be in the same exact place as it was during creation.
So here is my dilemma. Do I say the blessing? The sun being created on the fourth day doesn’t jibe with science. With that said, all the time I see value in religious beliefs that don’t coincide with science. It’s why I keep Passover. There’s no scientific proof of the exodus from Egypt or even the narrative, but I still scrub (or pay someone to scrub) my house and celebrate the holiday by eating two dinners and not eating certain kinds of food for a week which inevitably leads me to have one of the year’s worst stomach aches a couple of days before I binge on non Kosher pizza (vegetarian) with my brother at Pequods.
Will I say the blessing over the sun or more accurately the creation of the sun? Why not? I mean if anything deserves props from Jews or anyone else, it’s the sun, the source of life for all living things. (Plus I had a physical, and I’m in perfect health except I’m Vitamin D deficient. Why? I don’t hang out with the sun enough!)
So April 8, everybody get out of bed, stand outside and bless the fact that we are lucky enough to live on a planet that is at the perfect distance from the sun so that we can benefit from its gifts (let’s give the sun a reprieve from skin cancer next week).
And however the sun was created and however the Earth was created, we should be thankful for what we receive each day from nature and all we have to do is wake up and open the presents that are abundant in this world.
If not see you in 28 years. I wonder if I’ll have a blog when I’m 60?
Glossary:
Aliyah to the Torah - an honor to say the blessing over a Torah reading
Conservative Judaism - a movement in Judaism started in response to enlightenment and Jewish emancipation in Europe to modernize Judaism while keeping it in line with Jewish law.
Egalitarianism - men and women have equal opportunities to perform rituals and adhere to commandments in Judaism. Some would say equal obligation.
Passover - a holiday where you can't eat most carbs (bread, pasta, legumes) except potatoes) to commemorate the Exodus from Egypt. This can mess with your digestive system because you end up eating too much Matza. Can be combated by eating many fruits and vegetables and eating Matza in Matzeration. Haha. It's also a holiday where you spring clean.
Here are some more links on this event.
My favorite is this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngWgm5M5ixE&feature=related
The rest of these links, I don't agree with what they are saying, but I like to listen and learn.
Orthodox Rabbi explaining it
Another Orthodox Jewish Scholar explaining it
A view on the event from people living in the holy, mystical city of Tsfat
Celebration of the Birkat Hachama 28 years ago
And here is a picture of my niece seeing her first sunrise over Lake Michigan.
I guess that would make me a post denominational American Jewish Zionist skeptic.
Maybe I should start raising money for the PDAJZS. A dinner perhaps downtown? Any donors?
My theology is as follows:
Egalitarianism – (but if you don’t believe in it, fine, don’t believe in it. Whatever works for you, but don’t expect me to join your synagogue because there are good looking guys looking for wives, because I’m not going to unless you let me have an aliyah to the Torah).
Pilgrimage Every Jew should go to Israel at least once in their lives, similar to the Muslim Hajj.
Intelligent support of Israel Supporting Israel is a critical, but that support doesn’t mean blindly endorsing Israeli policies be it from lack of some civil rights for minorities to Ultra Orthodox women sitting in the back of the buses (What is up with that?)
Life long study Jewish continuity depends on knowledge of basic traditions, life cycle events, liturgy as prayer or poetry, the Jewish Narrative (Tanak), Jewish history, Jewish culture, an understanding of Jewish practice in its realities and Judaism as it fits into the spectrum of world religions.
Hebrew The ability to access Hebrew in the text as well as in its modern usage.
What inspired me to put this on paper? Two things actually:
This satirical promotional video on Jewish ignorance
And a Jewish ritual that happens every 28 years that I just learned about called the blessing over the creation of the sun.
Every month Jews bless the new month. The sun only gets its due every 28 years. Why the sun is celebrated in this cycle is explained in the link above (although probably a learned Rabbi would explain it even better.)
The blessing goes like this:
Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the Universe, Who makes the Work of Creation.
Tradition declares that a week from Wednesday, the sun will be in the same exact place as it was during creation.
So here is my dilemma. Do I say the blessing? The sun being created on the fourth day doesn’t jibe with science. With that said, all the time I see value in religious beliefs that don’t coincide with science. It’s why I keep Passover. There’s no scientific proof of the exodus from Egypt or even the narrative, but I still scrub (or pay someone to scrub) my house and celebrate the holiday by eating two dinners and not eating certain kinds of food for a week which inevitably leads me to have one of the year’s worst stomach aches a couple of days before I binge on non Kosher pizza (vegetarian) with my brother at Pequods.
Will I say the blessing over the sun or more accurately the creation of the sun? Why not? I mean if anything deserves props from Jews or anyone else, it’s the sun, the source of life for all living things. (Plus I had a physical, and I’m in perfect health except I’m Vitamin D deficient. Why? I don’t hang out with the sun enough!)
So April 8, everybody get out of bed, stand outside and bless the fact that we are lucky enough to live on a planet that is at the perfect distance from the sun so that we can benefit from its gifts (let’s give the sun a reprieve from skin cancer next week).
And however the sun was created and however the Earth was created, we should be thankful for what we receive each day from nature and all we have to do is wake up and open the presents that are abundant in this world.
If not see you in 28 years. I wonder if I’ll have a blog when I’m 60?
Glossary:
Aliyah to the Torah - an honor to say the blessing over a Torah reading
Conservative Judaism - a movement in Judaism started in response to enlightenment and Jewish emancipation in Europe to modernize Judaism while keeping it in line with Jewish law.
Egalitarianism - men and women have equal opportunities to perform rituals and adhere to commandments in Judaism. Some would say equal obligation.
Passover - a holiday where you can't eat most carbs (bread, pasta, legumes) except potatoes) to commemorate the Exodus from Egypt. This can mess with your digestive system because you end up eating too much Matza. Can be combated by eating many fruits and vegetables and eating Matza in Matzeration. Haha. It's also a holiday where you spring clean.
Here are some more links on this event.
My favorite is this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngWgm5M5ixE&feature=related
The rest of these links, I don't agree with what they are saying, but I like to listen and learn.
Orthodox Rabbi explaining it
Another Orthodox Jewish Scholar explaining it
A view on the event from people living in the holy, mystical city of Tsfat
Celebration of the Birkat Hachama 28 years ago
And here is a picture of my niece seeing her first sunrise over Lake Michigan.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
See this play in Chicago or when it comes to your town
Last night I saw the production of The Arab-Israeli Cookbook by Robin Soans at the Storefront Theater, 66 E. Randolph St.
It was a unique look at the Arab-Israeli conflict from multiple perspectives. While a criticism of the play that I read was that it works so hard at being balanced that it enters the realm of banality and fosters detachment. I strongly disagree. Or if that is so, it’s an appositive and allows the audience to gain a better understanding of the complexities of the conflict as well as Arab and Israelis own masks of aloofness when dealing about wars, assassinations, conscription, incursions and suicide bombings.
There is also a cooking element, which I enjoyed as a amateur chef, and am a fan of the food of the region. Also, each actor’s ability to play many different characters is impressive.
The play is in Chicago until April 4. Shows are Thurs-Sat at 7:30 p.m. & Sunday 3:30 p.m. For more information go to: http://www.theatremir.com/explore.html
You can also buy the play.
It was a unique look at the Arab-Israeli conflict from multiple perspectives. While a criticism of the play that I read was that it works so hard at being balanced that it enters the realm of banality and fosters detachment. I strongly disagree. Or if that is so, it’s an appositive and allows the audience to gain a better understanding of the complexities of the conflict as well as Arab and Israelis own masks of aloofness when dealing about wars, assassinations, conscription, incursions and suicide bombings.
There is also a cooking element, which I enjoyed as a amateur chef, and am a fan of the food of the region. Also, each actor’s ability to play many different characters is impressive.
The play is in Chicago until April 4. Shows are Thurs-Sat at 7:30 p.m. & Sunday 3:30 p.m. For more information go to: http://www.theatremir.com/explore.html
You can also buy the play.
Make me a match, find me a find, catch me a catch
I’m trying not to make this blog too personal, but this is just too precious to not share.
Dear Sharna,
I wanted to let you know that you are the recipient of a free 6 month GOLD membership with Jretromatch a new and from what I can tell better Jewish matching service then other more familiar programs such as jdate.com.
You receive this membership as a result of an offer I made the congregation a couple of months ago: Anyone who made the commitment to come to daily minyan at least once a week I would offer a 6 month membership in this old-new matchmaking service - anyone single that is OR a single relative of theirs. Your dad fit that qualification and asked that you be given this opportunity.
You can find out more about Jretromatch, which is a combination on line dating and traditional matchmaking service with live match makers by going to its web page -- jretromatch.com
They have various membership levels. Yours is the GOLD level in which you will be able to talk to a professional matchmaker who will assist you in going through the profiles they have listed.
This is the first time we have tried this so please let me know : A) if or when someone from jretromatch has contacted you, they are supposed to inform you about the gift subscription and how to sign up for an account and B) if you find this service worthwhile or helpful.
I hope you don't think this is too intrusive. But for many marriage and the companionship and family life that comes with it is a desired goal and it is harder in many ways today to meet fellow Jews for this purpose then in the past. I hope this service is useful to you. If it is worthwhile you can continue on your own the service after the 6 month subscription is up, if it is not, then you can let the subscription slide. I would be very interested in hearing your impressions about the program. If it is worthwhile I will offer it to others.
Hope all is well with you. And an early Hag Pesah Sameah v'kasher.
Rabbi
This was the first email I received when I awoke on Thursday morning. The first thing I did was call my dad (who sort of pretended not to know about it, without saying he didn't know, to save himself from the fact that I do indeed think he knew about it). Since then I’ve been thinking about this email non stop and the fact that I have absolutely no emotional reaction to it. I’m not happy, that’s for certain, but I’m not angry getting ready to write my Rabbi an angry email about how he’s violating something or other of mine and how inappropriate it is, and the next time he sees me he better duck.
I understand his perspective. In Judaism the very first commandment is to be fruitful and multiply. I have not fulfilled, nor am I super close to fulfilling, that commandment. In Judaism, the family unit is what much of the tradition is based off of.
He also probably likes me, and thinks it’s a shanda that I’m not married.
Therefore he is proactive in supporting me in being the best Jew that I can be and also correcting the shanda that is my experience with dating, men, etc.
I’ve spoken to some friends about this, and their responses are:
“It’s free. Why not? What do you have to lose?"
"You'll at least get some good stories out of it."
“WTF???? That’s so wrong.”
I don’t know what to think. I know I’m not thrilled but I can’t exactly figure out why. Perhaps it just underscores that no matter what I do with my life the fact that I’m not married is viewed as a disability. And no matter what I do to change my own perspectives on that notion, I am constantly reminded of my failure to complete life’s mission of marriage and children.
Will I join this dating service? I don’t know. I mean besides it being irritating, I date a lot as it is. I also find that dating is like dieting. If I took the time and money I’ve spent trying to lose weight combine that with the amount of time I’ve spent looking for my bashert, I could have found both a cure and a vaccine for Cancer.
What do you think?
Glossary:
Daily Minyan - group of 10 people (in the Conservative movement; in the Orthodox movement it’s 10 men) to make a quorum so that a complete prayer service can be held.
JDate- Jewish online dating service
Hag Pesah Sameah v'kasher Happy and Kosher Passover
bashert- the person you are destined to be with.
shanda- a shame, a travesty
POSTSCRIPT: My dad said that although the Rabbi mentioned something about this to him, he told the Rabbi to do what he wanted but not to get him (my dad) involved. That's what I sort of figured.
Dear Sharna,
I wanted to let you know that you are the recipient of a free 6 month GOLD membership with Jretromatch a new and from what I can tell better Jewish matching service then other more familiar programs such as jdate.com.
You receive this membership as a result of an offer I made the congregation a couple of months ago: Anyone who made the commitment to come to daily minyan at least once a week I would offer a 6 month membership in this old-new matchmaking service - anyone single that is OR a single relative of theirs. Your dad fit that qualification and asked that you be given this opportunity.
You can find out more about Jretromatch, which is a combination on line dating and traditional matchmaking service with live match makers by going to its web page -- jretromatch.com
They have various membership levels. Yours is the GOLD level in which you will be able to talk to a professional matchmaker who will assist you in going through the profiles they have listed.
This is the first time we have tried this so please let me know : A) if or when someone from jretromatch has contacted you, they are supposed to inform you about the gift subscription and how to sign up for an account and B) if you find this service worthwhile or helpful.
I hope you don't think this is too intrusive. But for many marriage and the companionship and family life that comes with it is a desired goal and it is harder in many ways today to meet fellow Jews for this purpose then in the past. I hope this service is useful to you. If it is worthwhile you can continue on your own the service after the 6 month subscription is up, if it is not, then you can let the subscription slide. I would be very interested in hearing your impressions about the program. If it is worthwhile I will offer it to others.
Hope all is well with you. And an early Hag Pesah Sameah v'kasher.
Rabbi
This was the first email I received when I awoke on Thursday morning. The first thing I did was call my dad (who sort of pretended not to know about it, without saying he didn't know, to save himself from the fact that I do indeed think he knew about it). Since then I’ve been thinking about this email non stop and the fact that I have absolutely no emotional reaction to it. I’m not happy, that’s for certain, but I’m not angry getting ready to write my Rabbi an angry email about how he’s violating something or other of mine and how inappropriate it is, and the next time he sees me he better duck.
I understand his perspective. In Judaism the very first commandment is to be fruitful and multiply. I have not fulfilled, nor am I super close to fulfilling, that commandment. In Judaism, the family unit is what much of the tradition is based off of.
He also probably likes me, and thinks it’s a shanda that I’m not married.
Therefore he is proactive in supporting me in being the best Jew that I can be and also correcting the shanda that is my experience with dating, men, etc.
I’ve spoken to some friends about this, and their responses are:
“It’s free. Why not? What do you have to lose?"
"You'll at least get some good stories out of it."
“WTF???? That’s so wrong.”
I don’t know what to think. I know I’m not thrilled but I can’t exactly figure out why. Perhaps it just underscores that no matter what I do with my life the fact that I’m not married is viewed as a disability. And no matter what I do to change my own perspectives on that notion, I am constantly reminded of my failure to complete life’s mission of marriage and children.
Will I join this dating service? I don’t know. I mean besides it being irritating, I date a lot as it is. I also find that dating is like dieting. If I took the time and money I’ve spent trying to lose weight combine that with the amount of time I’ve spent looking for my bashert, I could have found both a cure and a vaccine for Cancer.
What do you think?
Glossary:
Daily Minyan - group of 10 people (in the Conservative movement; in the Orthodox movement it’s 10 men) to make a quorum so that a complete prayer service can be held.
JDate- Jewish online dating service
Hag Pesah Sameah v'kasher Happy and Kosher Passover
bashert- the person you are destined to be with.
shanda- a shame, a travesty
POSTSCRIPT: My dad said that although the Rabbi mentioned something about this to him, he told the Rabbi to do what he wanted but not to get him (my dad) involved. That's what I sort of figured.
AIG's Bonus Round
What I think is most amusing about this mess with AIG and bonuses is the stunning negligence by both the current and previous President and our lawmakers in making provisions in the stimulus packages that would override a company’s contractual obligation to secure its executives bonuses.
Are our representative in the House and Senate working for us or are they signing bills based on partisanship or pressure?
It’s not really that shocking, I guess. No one really reads anything they agree to anymore. Hence, the mortgage crisis.
Congress: you are not there to be yes people for President Obama. You are there to represent your constituents. Even if you don’t represent our opinions, you owe it to us to read the fine print.
And to the handful of smirking Republicans who voted against the bill. You didn’t read the fine print either, so you have some explaining to do as well. You just voted against it to vote against it. Had you really wanted to look out for your constituents, you would have discovered the bonuses problem too and pointed that out to your fellow legislators and the president.
No one is immune from criticism because let’s face it, you didn’t do your job.
Ironic when unemployment is over 8 percent.
Are our representative in the House and Senate working for us or are they signing bills based on partisanship or pressure?
It’s not really that shocking, I guess. No one really reads anything they agree to anymore. Hence, the mortgage crisis.
Congress: you are not there to be yes people for President Obama. You are there to represent your constituents. Even if you don’t represent our opinions, you owe it to us to read the fine print.
And to the handful of smirking Republicans who voted against the bill. You didn’t read the fine print either, so you have some explaining to do as well. You just voted against it to vote against it. Had you really wanted to look out for your constituents, you would have discovered the bonuses problem too and pointed that out to your fellow legislators and the president.
No one is immune from criticism because let’s face it, you didn’t do your job.
Ironic when unemployment is over 8 percent.
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